Sounds from A Night at the Opera - featuring Chico Marx as Fiorello

You can hear or download a Night at the Opera WAV file by clicking on the WAV button .
You can hear a Night at the Opera Real Audio stream by clicking on the RA button .
You can see a A Night at the Opera picture by clicking on the Camera button . Sounds are available on each page.

Night at the Opera WAVs not seen on this site are available upon request.

Fiorello (Chico Marx): You gotta some mail for me? Clerk: Mail for you? You don't work here... Fiorello: Alright, where am I gonna getta my mail? I no work anyplace! 51K

Chico shows his expertise at the piano in this short WAV clip. The RealAudio clip contains the entire piano solo, but unfortunately, it also contains the annoying laughter of some observing children, which shines through as purely phoney (something that would have caused me to yell "CUT!" had I been directing the film... Oh well.) An interesting side-note is that Chico tended to favor his right hand when he played the piano, using the left to press chords that were limited in variety. Most people would never know it by the music he was able to play. 54K

Fiorello: What's the matter, mister? Driftwood (Groucho Marx): Oh, we had an argument and he pulled a knife on me, so I shot him. 28K

Driftwood (with his foot on the knocked-out Lassparri) : Two beers, bartender! Fiorello: I'll take two beers, too! 19K

		Driftwood: There's no need of you reading that because these are duplicates. Fiorello: Duplicates, a-huh... ( reading ) Driftwood: I say they're duplicates. Fiorello: Why sure they's a duplicates... duplicates... Driftwood: Don't you know what duplicates are? Fiorello: Sure, they's five kids up in Canada. 121K
		Driftwood: All right, I'll read it to ya. Can ya hear? Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. You said anything? Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing... Fiorello: Well, that's why I didn't hear anything. Driftwood: Well, that's why I didn't say anything. 116K
		Driftwood: It's alright - that's in every contract. That's what they call a "sanity clause" . Fiorello: Ha ha ha ha ha! You can't fool me - there ain't no Sanity Claus. 64K
		The signing of the contract between Fiorello and Driftwood is considered to be a classic Marx Brothers bit. Here's the entire classic haggling scene between the two, in RealAudio format.

Fiorello: Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia. He's trying to sleep it off. 20K

Driftwood: Say, isn't that my shirt you've got on? Fiorello: I don't know - I found it in the trunk. Driftwood: Well, then it couldn't be mine. Well, it was nice seeing you boys again, but I was expecting my other suit. You didn't happen to see it, did ya? Fiorello: Yeah, it took up too much room, so we sold it. Driftwood: Did you get anything for it? Fiorello: Uhhh... A dollar forty. Driftwood: That's my suit, alright. 113K

		Driftwood: And, uh... two fried eggs, two poached eggs, two scrambled eggs, and two medium-boiled eggs. Fiorello: And two hard-boiled eggs! Driftwood: And two hard-boiled eggs. Tomasso (Harpo): (Honk!) Driftwood: Make that three hard-boiled eggs. 94K
		The full version of the clip from above. Fiorello, Baroni, and the sleeping Tomasso are starved, and convince Driftwood to step out of his pint-sized stateroom and order some food for them from a steward. This is one of the funniest routines, often mentioned by critics as one of the most memorable segments in the film, along with the infamous scene where numerous people begin to fill the cramped cabin to "sardine can" capacity.

		Driftwood: Well that's fine. If that steward is deaf and dumb, he'll never know you're in here. Fiorello: Oh sure, that's alright. Driftwood (answering a knock on the door): Yes? Chambermaid: We've come to make up your room. Fiorello: Are those my hard-boiled eggs? Driftwood: I can't tell until they get in the room... 92K
		The Overcrowded Cabin routine is probably the most famous scene in this movie. Everyone from the engineer to the ship's manicurist seems to find their way into the pint-sized cabin, which eventually causes it to burst open upon the arrival of Mrs. Claypool (Margaret Dumont). For your enjoyment, it is provided here in its entirety in RealAudio format.

Fiorello (disguised as an aviator, gives his public radio broadcast describing how he came to America): So now I tell you how we fly to America. The first time we started, we getta half-way across when we run outta gasoline, and we gotta go back. Then I take a twice as much gasoline. This time, we're just about to land - a maybe a three feet - when whattya think? We run outta gasoline again. And back we go again and getta more gas. This time I take a plenty gas. Well, we getta half-way over - when whattya think happened - we forgotta the airplane. So, we gotta sit down and we talk it over. Then, I getta the great idea - we not take a the gasoline, we no take a the aeroplane. We take a steamship! And that, friends, is how we fly across the ocean!

Driftwood: Why don't you fellas be nice? Get outta here before I get arrested! Fiorello: No, I'd like to stay and see that. 33K

Driftwood: Where can I find you? Fiorello: Don't worry. Wherever you are, you'll find us. Driftwood: No, I'm sick of that. Let's meet somewhere else... 46K

Marx Brothers Night at the Opera Treasury